A Train, A Truck, & A Tractor

Whew, it’s been a few-months since I’ve written ANYTHING or even attempted to. Sometimes life just takes over in not so predictable ways. Hoping that I can start to re-prioritize things and resume doing what I know that I was born to do. Life-I hope I never take it for granted. I don’t think that I do, but sometimes I feel like it is slipping away and I’m going nowhere. How about you?

Don’t you hate jumping through hoops? I mean-you do a good job at work, above average even, but you still have to prove yourself by writing up stuff at the end of the year to prove to the “powers that be” how wonderful you are. Busy work. I hate busy work. Not to mention having to prove why you deserve the low premium health options by earning a certain percentage to qualify via well person visits, preventative tests, and lab results within range. But I digress.

I recently-like within the last year, started attending a ladies bible study called “Tuesdays Together.” There was this one ANNOYING person (joking) who wouldn’t stop inviting me. It is led by a wonderful woman who was once a principal at my children’s school. I didn’t know this until the first time I showed up…thanks to annoying person, lol.

I don’t trust easily. I mean, who CAN you trust? I’ve had TOO many well meaning individuals proverbially “stab me in the back” for me to relinquish my guard. Sad but true. I. don’t. trust. easily.

Did I also mention that I started faithfully attending church again. I say again. I’ve been a member of and baptized more times than I have fingers. I didn’t get it. Maybe I still don’t. I don’t understand why you have to sign a card and agree to certain things to become a “member” of a church.¬† Is that the way Jesus did it? But I digress…again.

So this ladie’s study: No judgement, no “qualifications.” Come as you are…broken, seeking, feeling misunderstood.

One evening not that long ago, I was running late to the 7 pm meeting. I admit-I am a bit of a procrastinator. Like even keeping up with the bible study book, “Metamorphosis of the Mind.” Find it on Amazon. Order it. I’m still not done even though this particular study ended almost 2 weeks ago. Dude-I let things get in the way too! I guess I’m human.

Anyway, I’m trying to be a little more punctual. I thought I left in enough time. That was my first mistake. I even went the back road-where I had to wait for a train. Great, I thought to myself. As if the train was to blame for my lack of planning. Train ended. I was on my way-or so I thought.

Road work-does it ever end? The way I usually go was open-or maybe not. I exited right on the short off ramp only to be re-directed by a not so nice dump truck driver. Further delay. OF COURSE IT WAS THEIR FAULT!!! So I detoured around and found my way back to a main road. Whew! I was on my way. Not so much. A tractor-really? Who made THEM king of the road? Putt, putt, putt. “Will you ever get over?” I said out loud. Dumb to say that aloud as if he heard me.

He finally turned off. I was late, but I was not the only one. Others had ran into the road construction as well. I don’t remember what exactly was discussed that night. Something about tarps and cats and-being human.

I actually learned more about myself on the commute. God help me with my procrastination. God help me with my impatience. God help me not to blame my lack of preparation on others. God help ME!

For the record, I love said “annoying person.” She is genuine, kind, the “real deal.” She even cusses-a little, and she is one of the most genuine people I know.

I’m sick to death of religiosity, going through the motions, ad nauseum. Where are all the REAL people?! Lately I’ve felt like I don’t “fit in” anywhere. I hope I never do. I hope I always live my life as the individual that God created me to be. That may rub against the status quo and the “religious” folk.

You see, I’ve come to realize that what I do is between God and me. God bless ya’ll that¬† try to make others’ “bidness” your “bidness,” but that just AIN’T the way it’s ‘posed to be! Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling! (Philippians 2:12).

Jesus takes you as you are. It is your responsibility to grow & let His word change you. The closer you get to Him, the more you will want to be like Him. It’s simple, but not easy. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30). We humans complicate things. Like requiring jumping through hoops to prove yourself. Jesus proved it to the whole world once and for all. I said, “for ALL!” For all of the sinners like me who constantly beat themselves up for a past they’re not proud of. For the drunkard, the drug addict, the adulterer, the gossip, the thief.

Jesus says, “Come to ME.” He is the WAY, the TRUTH, the LIFE. NO ONE comes to the Father but through HIM (John 14:16). If that offends you, don’t shoot the messenger-and don’t be late because of a train, a truck, or a tractor…or your OWN procrastination!

Until Next Time,

Stephanie

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