Most of you (at least my personal friends) know of the personal journey that has been mine and my son’s family for the last three weeks.  I can’t tell you just how much it has changed me as a person. I realize that it is most personal for me and that we are no more special than you. I choose to be transparent. I lived too much of my life in pretense. Maybe it’s an age thing, maybe not.

I’ve spoken of my issues with depression and ADD before. It does not define me. I am whole, I am free. We all face battles that are specific to us. We are all pilgrims in this journey called “life.”

I wish I could put into words how much the last 23 days has changed me, but I cannot. I can only relay the revelations that have been shown to me.  I will try to outline them here:

When you think that you have no more tears to cry, others cry for you.

When you have no more to say to God, others fill the gap.

When you worry as  a parent and grandparent about the financial aspect of the horror story that has befallen your child, others come through.

When you are at your lowest, you will get a text, facebook message, or face to face encouraging word that will illuminate your path and set your heart on fire.

Though I describe myself as a “social introvert” meaning I love to be around people, but I need my alone time to regroup and refocus, I have a better understanding of the phrase “no person is an island.”

We need each other, we do. I am fiercely independent and feel smothered by too much togetherness, but I have come to realize that there needs to be a balance. One has to establish boundaries to let others know when “enough is enough.”

I am not responsible for the way others perceive things. Their perception is their reality. I need to be true to me and let them deal with their issues. They may never deal with their issues and continue to blame me (i.e. my mother). I am okay with that and will not internalize it.

Thanksgiving is upon us. I am SO thankful for my true, genuine friends and their presence in my life. I am thankful also for those who sharpen me and challenge me to “turn the other cheek.” They illuminate my shortcomings.

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -Joseph Campbell

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving,

Stephanie

 

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