Eventually I will get back to “Living in the Present While Reflecting on the Past.” Ideas flow through my brain like marbles down a staircase. Sometimes it’s not pretty. Although, I think marbles are pretty. Most of them anyway.
I’m a feeler. You know the type-we like to FEEL things! I guess I have always learned about my world this way. The squishy feeling of play-doh, the cool grass on bare feet (except when you step in dog poop-yuck-squishes between your toes)! The feeling of the wind on my face, soft puppy fur, a cool shower after a run or working out in the yard.
I have always been a hair twister. Nervous habit maybe. It somehow is comforting. Some people smoke, some people twirl hair. Don’t judge me!!! Whatever it takes to calm the soul. Running calms my soul. Music calms my soul as well. Music is the universal language.
Have you ever been so down on yourself to the point of being disgusted? I have. I think being a mother is the most challenging, frustrating, rewarding thing in life. Yet-when you are a “feeler,” your soul doesn’t let you forget. A mother holds things in her heart forever-the good, the bad, the great, the sad. Things that she wished she could go back and change, yet she knows that life is not that way, and that she did the best that she could with the circumstances at hand at the time.
Mental pain-it is a real thing. It is much worse than physical pain. Physical pain eventually comes to an end-unless it is a chronic physical pain that you just get used to . I think this is why I have such a high pain tolerance. Physical pain is nothing compared to some of the mental anguish that I have been through. I think that is somewhat of a good thing. It helps me get through life-this crazy life. And sometimes I feel like Bat Woman.
Hope to see you out on the roads or trails,