WordPress tells me that it has been 16 days since my last blog post so I thought I’d better get after it!
After contemplating the many issues plaguing the world, I could have written about a handful of them. Things like how I think political posts on social media are idiocy at it’s finest, how debates about zoos, children, & gorillas are multitudinous, how swimming in alligator infested swamps at night is utter foolishness, or how those who believe the mainstream media are completely simpleminded (ranks right up there with the readers of the Enquirer), but that would take weeks. So instead I will focus on the glamorous residual effects of running-that is, how lovely it can be. (Disclaimer: I am not a poster child for the subject of this blog).
I don’t know how they do it. “They” are the cutie patooties who still look as fresh & beautiful after a run (or workout) as they did before prom (not afterwards with those back seat shenanigans)! You know the type-perfect makeup, smiles on their faces, nary a hair out of place. They take the most flawless selfies afterwards.
I don’t know how you “loose” arm fat. I would think one would want to tighten that crap up! (Beauty but no brains perhaps)? And do people really smile on a treadmill?!
I don’t know about you, but I look like a sick cow with a hangover when I’m on the “dread”mill.
A popular photography company back in the late 80’s, early 90’s was one known as
“Glamour Shots.” I guess there are a few still around for those who like to feign “glamour.” Honestly, with photoshop and the ability to alter digital images, I don’t know why anyone would PAY to have this done. That is MY opinion of course, so take it or leave it.
I like to dress up occasionally and to look like something other than what the cat drug in when I go out. But I really love taking candid shots of others or as I like to say, “capturing life.” My kids think I’m daft. That’s okay, I am-and the apples don’t fall too far from the tree! So to get back to “running as glamour,” I shall now share with you some of my “glamour shots.”
I don’t think any advertising companies are going to be calling me anytime soon.
I will try to be brief -humor, arr, arr (only us “old” people get that, but believe it or not, there was once a sitcom called “Mork & Mindy” in the days of three channel T.V. from whence that phrase came). At any rate, I will TRY to highlight the finer aspects of the glamour of running.
Glamorous run faces:
I have tried to anticipate the photographer and tweak a little smile:
Glamorous Finish Line photos that look like you are being a wimp & carrying an umbrella!
Glamorous bodily functions:
Glamorous gourmet foods (may cause spontaneous puking on a long run):
Glamorous bodily smells:
Glamorous after effects like chafing and pain from foam rolling:
Glamorous after photos with sweat in the eyes:
Glamorous photo ops with celebrities:
Glamorous feet/toes: Who needs polish when your toenails are always black?
So there is my not so comprehensive list of the glamours of running. At least all of my toenails have grown back in time for sandals, I’ve only chafed once (work to be done on those inner thighs, but I’m blaming the material in the shorts), and I’ve only bought 5 pair of shoes so far this year. Since I didn’t get to do the ultra I was planning, there has been no pooping in the woods (yet).
Running has brought me many glamorous things, but I am quite certain that I will NEVER have a booty that looks like this no matter how many squats I do. That’s okay because then I’d break the bank with new clothes.
There are always butt implants and boob implants, but…why? Oh, this society we live in! I would have to learn a whole new way of running and well that’s just TOO much down time!!! I love my glamorous self, my glamorous health, and my glamorous running friends. I must confess that the gams are a nice by-product of running as well.
The moral of the story-embrace you for you. Whatever it is you’re committed to-the good, the bad, and the ugly. Above all, embrace health. We only have one body and when it breaks down, parts are pretty sparse. Most people take better care of their vehicles than they do their bodies. Fight the fight, live long, and capture those life moments!
I love ME, flaws and all.
Oh-and you’re still wondering what sweat is? Wet and sweaty of course…duh!
Hope to see you out on the road or trails!
P.S. And I didn’t even talk about the glamour of spitting & snot rockets!!!
Photo credits to whom they rightfully belong.