Unfettered: Not controlled or restricted; free, unrestrained (Google search, Merriam-Webster).

12644886_224805114526812_5891399491727631686_nWe are born into this world not by choice, but by chance. Out of the millions of sperm that don’t reach an egg, we are the product of that ONE that makes it & fertilization takes place. We have no control over whom we are born to or where we are born. We have no control over how we are raised. Our worlds for a time are dictated by our parents’ beliefs. They do the best they can with the knowledge & experience they possess. We see the world for a limited time through their lenses.

Example: Both of my parents smoked cigarettes. As a small child with concrete thoughts, I assumed everyone’s parents smoked. I cringe now to think how much I must have reeked of second hand smoke when I went to school each day. I didn’t know much about what went on outside the walls of my childhood home, my grandmother’s house, and my neighborhood. My grandmother babysat me & my brother while my parents worked. We had bacon & fried eggs every morning. Bologna, Spam, deviled ham, canned spaghetti Os, ravioli, or soup were the lunch offerings. Occasionally grandma would make a meatloaf, goulash, or fried chicken. Again, I thought this was the norm. I really had no choice in what to eat except maybe between tomato soup or chicken noodle. I had a lot of stomach issues as a child-hmm, I wonder why?

Where am I going with this you ask? To make the statement that I had no say in most of my day to day happenings. I was restricted & didn’t have the freedom of choice. As I grew older and started thinking more abstractly, I started seeing things through my own lens. Much to my parent’s dismay, I chose the music I liked, clothing, & hobbies. I had some freedom. But as I still lived under their roof, they still had the final say in a lot of things. I suppose that’s why I rebelled and got married at a young age. But that is the subject for another blog.

My point is this: The past is the past. My dad is deceased and my mother no longer has control over what I do. That is just an example to segue into part two of this blog (if you missed part one, go back and read it). We grow up, we form thoughts based on our experiences, learning, and hopefully research. This is America and we have the luxury of making our own choices and having our own preferences. I may not agree with you and vice versa. That is okay. My best friendships are based on the “agree to disagree” model about certain things. I value those people. On occasion, either I or they are enlightened to each other’s way of thinking or see something from a different angle. We in no way chastise each other or treat each other like the children we once were. That is called tolerance. I am always seeking to understand another’s point of view.

So here it is-my response in it’s original form (I had to put together the screen shots) to the one who thought he needed to reprimand me for my choice of favorite football team:

12705190_10208674231319326_444364289096473887_nSo there you have it. The answer to an egotistical male who was “disappointed” in my posts (translated-I am not the submissive robot he thought I should be). I am clearly over shallow people/friendships. I can get along with anybody. I will have an adult, meaningful debate/conversation with anyone. But the minute you talk down to me and treat me like a child (especially when hiding behind the keyboard), we have nothing left to discuss. The exchange is as dead as the dog buried in my backyard.

For far too long I lived to please other people and lost myself in the process. When I was a child, I often longed for my mother to be a “stay at home mom” like some of my other friends’ mothers. In hindsight, I am so glad that she wasn’t because I learned to stand on my own two feet. We don’t always see eye to eye, but that woman doesn’t take crap off of anyone!

Our culture either buries or burns the dead. Sadly, some friendships/relationships are meant to be buried as well before rigor mortis and the stench of death sets in permeating the psyche.

When I started this blog, my goal was to maybe help & inspire others. I had no idea exactly the direction it would take. I had hoped that folks could see that aging is not a bad thing and to never stop dreaming. We are all on this giant planet called earth, and none of us gets out of here alive. Set those goals and live life to the fullest every single day. Get healthy so you can do just that. For me, part of getting and staying healthy is avoiding negativity when it tries to creep into my life. Part one and two of this blog was to bring awareness to the many ways that people can try to control you. I refuse to let others make me feel bad. If you don’t like this blog, don’t read it. There are plenty of others out there to suit your needs. Frankly, I don’t give a rat’s ass if you don’t like it!

11161338_866514773423305_298743892664125993_nI love Lucille Ball-another strong, successful woman. On that note, I will bury this subject and get on with running posts and updates for the next few blogs. Spring races are right around the corner! Stay safe, stay strong, and don’t let the asshats get you down!

Until We Meet Again,

Stephanie

 

2 thoughts on “The Unfettered Life Part II (Burying Dead Things)

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